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Come to America: Mercedes A-Class

Come to America: Mercedes A-Class

Well, folks, I have returned after a two-week hibernation. This was an excellent, relaxing, stress-free period during which my Range Rover only broke down once. I consider it a banner holiday season.

Today’s topic is one of my less common features, which I dubbed “come to America.” Initially I created this solely to discuss how much I want an Audi RS2, but it doesn’t look like that’s going to happen anytime soon, so now I’ll expand it to other cars. And one of those cars is the Mercedes A-Class.

To be clear, the A-Class I want is the first-generation model – the one shaped like a four-door isosceles triangle. It’s gorgeous. It’s cool. It looks futuristic, even though it came out like 15 years ago. In fact, can we put an A-Class on the same boat that will eventually transport my RS2?

I am aware, however, that the original A-Class is long out of production. So this is aimed more at the current A-Class. I think Mercedes should bring it to the States.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking: The A-Class IS coming to the states! I read it on Autoblog! And you are correct. There have been many reports that the A-Class will make landfall in America someday soon. But here’s the problem: in 2010, they said it’d be here in 2012. In 2011, we heard 2013. In 2012, they said 2014. So is it really coming?!

I hope so, because few things get me as excited as a compact luxury car. There’s just something about being able to fit in a tiny parallel parking space and still enjoy massaging seats that really gets me going. And for that reason, I hope the A-Class does, someday, find its way to America. And maybe Mercedes can bring over a few first-generation models, too. Just for laughs.

Come to America: Audi RS2

Come to America: Audi RS2

The federal government can, at times, be rather annoying. Tax time, for example, can be a bit stressful. Not for me, since my taxes are prepared by a middle-aged accountant who, like all middle-aged accountants, drives an Acura RL, like all middle-aged accountants. But maybe for you.

Of course, regardless of your views on taxes, or Congress, or the president, I think we can all agree the single most annoying thing about government is its ban on importing cars.

At the moment, the government does not allow any vehicles 24 years old or newer to be imported unless you plan to use it for “show and display.” Even then, there’s a list of cars that qualify for “show and display” and a separate list for cars that don’t. The car you want to import has to be on the “approved” list, which is probably created by a middle-aged bureaucrat who dreams of an Acura RL.

The Audi RS2 is on the denied list.

Let’s back up to the RS2’s humble beginnings. It was based on Audi’s “B4” generation 90, which came out in 1991. This was, by all accounts, the worst German luxury car ever, assuming you don’t count its predecessor, the Audi 80.

But the RS2 was different. For one, it was a station wagon while most 90s were sedans. It had a 311-hp 2.2-liter turbo five-cylinder, a 4.8-seconds 0-to-60 time, and a top speed of 163 mph. Like the 500E featured earlier this week, it was built by Porsche in Stuttgart. It had “PORSCHE” lettering on its badge and brake calipers. In fact, it shared its wheels and mirrors with the 964.

A Porsche-built Audi station wagon is, by definition, one of the coolest things in the history of time. But because it came out in 1994, we Americans can’t legally import one until 2019. Annoyingly, with laws that only extend out 15 years, our Canadian friends can bring it over right now, drive it to the border, and taunt us.

I recently bought a scale model of the RS2, but the six-year wait for the real thing will be a long one. By then, my accountant may even upgrade to an RLX.