Well, ladies and gentlemen, I’ve written two books. Admittedly, they’re not really books, but rather e-Books. In other words: they’re electronic.

For those of you who haven’t gotten around to purchasing an expensive electronic device that lets you read formerly non-electronic things, don’t worry. You can read e-Books on your PC or your Mac computer, or on your smartphone or iPad through the free Kindle app. Therefore, you have no excuse for not purchasing the books, unless of course you think they’re too expensive.

To that I say: these books are three dollars. What the hell can you get for three dollars these days? A few Bic pens? A used DVD? Three dollars won’t even buy you those pull-back cars they sell at the grocery store, and believe me, even if it could, these books will entertain you for much longer.

Anyway, some details:

Plays With Cars (Kindle)
Barnes & Noble (Nook)

This book is about cars. In it, I discuss various automotive adventures, such as:

1. Driving a Lotus without air conditioning from San Francisco to Atlanta.
2. Taking my E63 AMG wagon to a dragstrip in rural Georgia.
3. Buying a beat-up Land Cruiser with 240,000 miles from a public auto auction.
4. Attempting to evade police at the Tail of the Dragon using a pontoon boat.

There are also car reviews and a few TTAC and Jalopnik stories reprinted. In all, more than 80 percent of the content (roughly equivalent to 200 pages in a normal book) is new.

The new content is also highly entertaining, at least according to my girlfriend. I also once thought it was entertaining, but now – after editing everything ten million times – I would be more than happy to never again read or write another story about automobiles, and possibly never again ride in another automobile, and possibly never again see printed text.

By the way, I’m working on getting this on Kobo for all you Canadians and northern Americans out there. Should be just a few more days.

From My Perspective (Kindle)
Barnes & Noble (Nook)
Kobo (Kobo eReader)

This book is not about cars. Nonetheless, I think you’ll find it somewhat entertaining, or at least not awful, or at least worthy of spending three dollars on and completely forgetting about until one day you read an article I wrote in Delta Sky Magazine and you think to yourself: “Oh yeah… that guy.”

In this book, I opine about various highly important topics, such as underwater noises, sports mascots, the Transcontinental Railroad, and going to college. Who knows: you might even learn something. (Like, for instance, not to purchase random three-dollar books online.)

Just remember: if you hate it, I warned you it wasn’t about cars. You took this risk yourself. This catastrophic, life-changing, three-dollar risk.

On a serious note, I really appreciate all the words of encouragement from everyone over the last few weeks and months. Now that these are done, I will return to my usual place of posting TTAC and Jalopnik columns as often as those websites let me. I’ll also start posting here more often. I let myself do that a lot.