Well, not really. I wrote two books. And they’re not really books, but rather e-Books. In other words: they’re electronic.
For those of you who haven’t gotten around to purchasing an expensive electronic device that allows you to read formerly non-electronic things, don’t worry. You can read e-Books on your PC or your Mac computer, or on your smartphone or iPad through the free Kindle app or on the iTunes Bookstore. Therefore, you have no excuse for not purchasing the books, unless of course you think they’re too expensive.
To that I say: these books are three dollars. What the hell can you get for three dollars these days? A few Bic pens? A used DVD? Three dollars won’t even buy you those pull-back cars they sell at the grocery store, and believe me, even if it could, these books will entertain you for much longer.
Anyway, some details:
Plays With Cars
This book is about cars. In it, I discuss various automotive adventures, such as:
1. Driving a Lotus without air conditioning from San Francisco to Atlanta.
2. Taking my E63 AMG wagon to a dragstrip in rural Georgia.
3. Buying a beat-up Land Cruiser with 240,000 miles from a public auto auction.
4. Attempting to evade police at the Tail of the Dragon using a pontoon boat.
There are also car reviews and a few TTAC and Jalopnik stories reprinted. In all, more than 80 percent of the content (roughly equivalent to 200 pages in a normal book) is new.
The new content is also highly entertaining, at least according to my girlfriend. I also once thought it was entertaining, but now – after editing everything ten million times – I would be more than happy to never again read or write another story about automobiles, and possibly never again ride in another automobile, and possibly never again see printed text.
By the way, I’m working on getting this on Kobo for all you Canadians and northern Americans out there. Should be just a few more days.
From My Perspective
This book is not about cars. Nonetheless, I think you’ll find it somewhat entertaining, or at least not awful, or at least worthy of spending three dollars on and completely forgetting about until one day you read an article I wrote in Delta Sky Magazine and you think to yourself: “Oh yeah… that guy.”
In this book, I opine about various highly important topics, such as underwater noises, sports mascots, the Transcontinental Railroad, and going to college. Who knows: you might even learn something. (Like, for instance, not to purchase random three-dollar books online.)
Just remember: if you hate it, I warned you it wasn’t about cars. You took this risk yourself. This catastrophic, life-changing, three-dollar risk.
On a serious note, I really appreciate all the words of encouragement from everyone over the last few weeks and months. Now that these are done, I will return to my usual place of posting TTAC and Jalopnik columns as often as those websites let me. I’ll also start posting here more often. I let myself do that a lot.
Hello dear readers! A few housekeeping items. First and most importantly: I’ve now posted a list of my favorite columns through a link the header. I’ve noticed that the people who come here from Jalopnik don’t always realize I write for TTAC, and the people who come from TTAC don’t realize I write for Jalopnik, so I decided to post the very best stuff from both places right here in an ongoing effort to make you think that all my writing is that good.
The columns are, at the moment:
Sports Cars Don’t Really Attract Women – May 24, 2013 [Jalopnik]
I Think Honda LaneWatch Is Awesome – May 14, 2013 [The Truth About Cars]
Doug’s Comparison: Nissan LEAF vs. Honda Fit – April 25, 2013 [The Truth About Cars]
What It’s Like to Own an E63 AMG Wagon – April 20, 2013 [Jalopnik]
The Worst Drivers Are In ZipCars – April 11, 2013 [The Truth About Cars]
Lincoln Can and Will Come Back – April 10, 2013 [The Truth About Cars]
Doug’s Review: 1995 Range Rover Classic – March 26, 2013 [The Truth About Cars]
Land Rover and JD Power – February 26, 2013 [The Truth About Cars]
Exotic Cars and Montana Plates – February 22, 2013 [The Truth About Cars]
North American International Auto Show Wrap-Up – January 17, 2013 [The Truth About Cars]
Second: I’ve now joined Twitter. I did this because everyone else is on Twitter, and if everyone else jumped off a bridge, yes, I would probably jump off the bridge also, because it would be lonely to live in a world where there aren’t any other people. (This is the kind of humorous anecdote you will find on my Twitter.) For those who have not joined Twitter, for God’s sake, do not join. Keep fighting the good fight. For those who have, I’m @dougdemuro.
Finally: I’m writing a book. Two, actually. Of course, these will be e-Books, since no publisher in their right mind would accept my work. I’m shooting for a mid-July release date, so for God’s sake block off a few nights this summer that you can devote to a) buying the books, which will be unbelievably cheap, and b) falling asleep while reading them.
Also: once the books come out, I promise this site will become more exciting and, more importantly, will be updated more frequently. To everyone who is reading: thanks for all the kind words over the last few months! And now, back to cars.