I feel bad for calling out Honda twice in a row in the Named in Japan segment, but not so bad, because they’re the ones picking the names. In fact, this segment probably wouldn’t exist without Honda and its naming department, which I assume consists of toddlers, people on acid, and those unfamiliar with the concept of language. Sort of like Japanese porn.
Anyway, on to the latest car: the Honda That’s. I am not kidding – this is actually the name for this vehicle. The That’s. Imagine the water cooler talk in Japanese offices: “What are you driving these days, Yoshi?” “Oh, nothing special, Mr. Fujimoto. I just traded in my Corolla for a That’s.”
Like the Life Dunk featured in the previous segment, the That’s is a Japanese “kei car,” which means it conforms to a certain size requirement to save drivers money on taxes and insurance. It also puts out about 50 horsepower, which is why I think it should’ve been called the Honda Isn’t. But I hadn’t done enough acid the day I showed up for my interview at Honda.
Truth be told, I think I actually came up with a reason why Honda called it the That’s. The brand’s standard kei car is called the Life, which is a normal ho-hum car purchased by the dozen – sort of like the Civic over here. Meanwhile, the That’s is an alternate choice that’s a little more edgy, but still based on the same chassis. Put them together and you get… That’s Life. As in, ‘Oh, darn, a giant green lizard just ate Tokyo. Oh well, that’s life!’
I should probably stop now, since, half the sentences on this page are underlined in green as Word is angrily trying to get me to finish my thoughts. That’s WHAT?!??!, it’s probably shouting from its feeble, computerized brain. Maybe if I had a Toshiba, it would understand.