First-Ever Pontiac Aztek: It Exists (On Ebay!)
Posted by Doug DeMuro in It Exists on | 8 comments
I’m thinking about buying this. Or, I should say, I thought about buying this, back when it was three grand. Autoblog ran a story on it the other day, and I figured it wouldn’t top $5k. Well, I was wrong.
Let’s back up. What, exactly, is this? It’s a 2001 Pontiac Aztek currently on eBay with the auction price at $14,322.22. And why is it so expensive? Because it’s the first Aztek ever made.
That’s right: 2001 Pontiac Aztek VIN# 00001 is currently offered on eBay in pristine condition and – this is true – with a Barrett-Jackson license plate screwed on. It turns out this Aztek (described several times in the listing as an “Aztec”) sold for $15,950 at B-J in 2009, which is stunning when you consider it sold for $22,000 eight years early. That’s BMW Z8 depreciation.
Of course, not every Aztek saw values stay so strong. Number 00001 is one-of-a-kind; the very first example of a model that showed Pontiac no longer had to resort to rebadged versions of other GM models. Yes, this one was different. This one … had plastic cladding.
Maybe more ridiculous than the selling price, or the #00001 serial number, is the fact that the previous owners have kept it in mint condition. The odometer has less than 8,000 miles on it. The seats are perfect. The body is excellent.
Some previous owner thought this car would be worth something one day – and who knows, they might still be right. Humorously, that owner wasn’t Pontiac, who apparently let the first Aztek out of its sights. And sadly, it won’t be me. I don’t care how many zeroes are in the VIN: this is crazy money for an Aztek. It’s even crazy money for an Aztec.
8 Responses to “ “First-Ever Pontiac Aztek: It Exists (On Ebay!)”
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I thought the Aztek was the most hideous vehicle of all time from the first time I saw it. I held that opinion until I saw the 2009 Acura TL. Unlike the Aztek, the TL had a predecessor for comparison and it was a looker! The TL had a beautiful interior and the powertrain and handling was outstanding, but it was so damn ugly I couldn’t stand to look at it. Actually, I thought that Medusa had been reincarnated into an Acura and avoided looking at it to avoid being turned to stone!
The Aztek had an ugly interior, but it so did every other Pontiac of that era. The patchwork seat fabric in this particular example is particularly awful, but if I was going to buy a Aztek I’d want it to be the most freakishly hideous one ever to roll off the assembly line. Too bad this one is black, it would be more interesting in Yellow or Orange. Not only would the color be ‘loud’ and draw more attention to the fact that the car looks like each body panel was designed by different people who never met or saw one another’s design. It would also make the lower cladding really ‘pop’!’
Then there’s the groaning, weakling of an engine, the 3.4L OHV V6. The AWD versions topped the scale at over 4100 pounds. With only 185hp @ 5200rpm and 210lb-ft of torque @ 4000rpm, acceleration was mediocre at best. And enduring the noises made by the pushrod V6 above 3500rpm wasn’t worth the minimal payoff in acceleration…unless someone you spotted someone you knew and were trying to get away before they saw you driving it! I
I took a look at the website for the Chrysler dealer selling the Aztek and they have a Classic & Collectibles section with some very interesting vehicles for sale. My personal favorite (because it’s the most wretchedly awful car) is a silver 1977 Ford Granada 4-door with gray vinyl and manual transmission. It has 2,786 miles on it and I can’t help but wonder who owned it for the last 36 years. Did he/she commit suicide after suffering each of those agonizing miles? Or was a dealer unable to sell it at any price and hid it away in storage when even Goodwill wouldn’t take it? The fact they are currently asking $7,999 is hilarious.
These were the most dreadful vehicles. Ford had the audacity and arrogance to actually compare the Granada to the Mercedes-Benz 280 in advertisements when it was introduced. I’m confident that they snagged a single sale from M-B with this heap. I grew up in a tiny little Georgia town and everyone on my street knew one another and treated each other like family. The one exception was this nasty, shrew of a woman (Miss Oveline Sims, an ‘old maid’ in her 70s) and she drove a burnt orange ’75 or ’76 Granada with missing hubcaps. One of my more amusing (and crude) neighbors once said, “She is a virgin in a world where men will turn to soft fruit for pleasure!” =/
It’s rare that I hear and something and actually laugh out loud when I’m alone. But one night I was watching NickAtNite and Golden Girls was on (it was either that or an infomercial for an erectile dysfunction product….ironically, I suppose the Golden Girls could cause that condition, that just occurred to me but we’ll leave that for another day). Sophia (Estelle Getty) had decided to become a nun at the age of 85 and they were waiting outside to pick her up. Dorothy (Bea Arthur) thought she was bluffing initially. Then Dorothy walked in the front door and said, “Ma, you’re really going through with this aren’t you?” Sophia replied, “Yes, what convinced you, a sign from God?” Dorothy- “Yes, there’s a Granada-full of nun’s honking the driveway.” I blew Coke out of nose and all over the bed….
Jason – keep in mind the Granada served it’s purpose 40 years ago – a downsized LTD. It was cheap to build (essentially a long-amortized 1960 Falcon chassis with luxury touches). Back in the day (1975-78) they sold a ton of them. They were greatly surpassed (dynamically, handling and nearly everything else) by the Fairmont coming onboard in ’78.
Then again, I’m a huge Mustang II defender.
I’m a car nut. I find beauty in everything. Except fire ants.
I remember seeing the Aztek for the first time in person at a huge teacher in-service and stopping dead in my tracks to barely mutter “what. the. fxxx.”
I have never seen such a misguided styling episode in my long life.
The black plastic-fendered Avalanche, Element or Baja couldn’t hold it’s gym bag.
There are quite a number of these roaming around the streets of my hometown. Yes, they’re awful, but it’s come to the point where they’re so bad that they don’t even phase me anymore. And let’s face it, there are a LOT of ugly cars even today with styling touches that make this thing seem tame. I’m thinking particularly of Toyota… Anyway, please remember that the Aztek doesn’t deserve ALL of the hate–the Buick Rendezvous was equally hideous. Badge engineering at its very worst.
I totally agree with you in that the Rendevouz was just as absurdly ugly, but weirdly, no one through a fit about that one and it sold relatively well. I never understood that. Different demographic maybe? Were the purchasers of the Buick older and, hence, had poorer vision so they didn’t see how ugly it was? Or do old people just totally not give a shit about styling? I don’t know. The mystery will probably go unsolved.
Several years ago when I had my shoulder in a sling after surgery and I couldn’t drive my 5-speed Jetta, my mom lent me her Rendezvous to drive. I can assure you that it is as wretched inside as it is on the outside. The interior has some of the most awfully patterned cheap plastic I have ever seen anywhere. If I recall, the detailing to the trim was so cheap that there was no effort made to hide the flash, it was just there to behold and marvel at.
Dynamically, it was similar to my dad’s Pontiac Montana minivan (of which he is now on his second, he loves the damn things for hauling all his toys.) I’m not sure what benefits the Rendezvous had over the minivans upon which it was based, but my mom received hers from her father after his passing. I would hope that it was more a matter of convenience and frugality than true desire.
I can’t believe someone would put forth this kind of effort into preserving an Aztek. How did this even happen?
My favorite feature of the Aztek was that the rear speakers point towards the tailgate so that, according to the advertising, you can more thoroughly enjoy your music when tailgating at concerts and sporting events. But the other 99% of the time, when you are actually behind the wheel, the speakers are pointing away from you and the music sounds like shit. Life is all about these necessary sacrifices.
As ugly as the Aztek is, it can’t beat the Acura ZDX. The only car to make my eyes hurt by looking at it.