The Cars of Monaco

The Cars of Monaco
As some of you know, I haven’t posted in a while because I’ve been in Monaco doing what everyone in Monaco does: spending money. I’ll be back to normal on Monday, but for now here’s a treat: a few of the most interesting cars from Monaco. There are many more on my Twitter, but these are the...
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Feature: Nothing Says “F*** You” Like A Mercedes-Benz CL600

Feature: Nothing Says “F*** You” Like A Mercedes-Benz CL600
I think it’s time that I, a responsible automotive journalist with roughly 90 days of experience, devote a column to a segment that my colleagues simply do not spend enough time covering. And that segment is: expensive cars that nobody buys. Now, I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking: He’s going to write a column about Acura? But that isn’t the case. Actually, you already know that isn’t the case because you’ve read the title, and you’ve seen the picture, and you’ve come here to get answers to all your burning CL-Class-related questions, such as: Does Mercedes still make...
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Volkswagen Touareg V10 TDI: It Exists

Volkswagen Touareg V10 TDI: It Exists
In light of my recent piece about European-market diesels, I’d like to highlight one of my favorite diesel cars in recent memory. And that car is: the Volkswagen Touareg V10 TDI. The Touareg V10 TDI debuted for the 2005 model year, and – like so many cars in this segment – it answered a question that no one really asked. That question was: Why isn’t there a Volkswagen that tows like a heavy-duty pickup? Here were the particulars: 313 horsepower, which doesn’t really seem very muscular compared to the Touareg V8. 553 pound-feet of torque, which doesn’t really seem very muscular compared...
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Frankfurt Motor Show: A Look Back

Frankfurt Motor Show: A Look Back
Well, folks, the time has come: another Frankfurt Motor Show is in the books. Of course, by “Frankfurt Motor Show,” what I really mean is “Frankfurt Motor Show press days.” This is all us journalists care about, and by “us journalists” what I really mean is a bunch of well-paid professional writers and also me. Anyway: I think we’re all pleased Frankfurt has come and gone successfully. I know I am. And I bet the citizens of Frankfurt feel the same way, since their city can now go back to its usual purpose of serving as an airline hub for Americans traveling to places like Greece. But for...
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Feature: Here’s Why You Should Keep Your Old VIN Numbers

Feature: Here’s Why You Should Keep Your Old VIN Numbers
I recently had my morning routine disturbed. Those of you with a morning routine will know exactly what I mean when I say this is a major problem. Right, morning routiners? All I want to do is peacefully start each day the same way: wake up at 10 am, spend about 40 minutes on Bring a Trailer, then think to myself “Nah, I don’t need to write a column today” before napping until approximately 3 pm. Is that so much to ask?! My routine was disturbed during that second part; the bit where I go on Bring a Trailer. That’s because I logged on one morning after waking up bright and early, around...
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Porsche Panamera Manual: It Exists

Porsche Panamera Manual: It Exists
I’ve been on a “save the manuals” kick lately, which is funny because I haven’t owned one in a year and a half. A few people mentioned this when I posted my rant about manuals over on Jalopnik, but of course I silenced those comments like I silence all comments that don’t talk about how excellent I am. (Just kidding – I’m not a local news station.) Anyway: the most recent expansion of my “save the manuals” work is to highlight the Porsche Panamera, which is not sold with a manual transmission. Why, you might ask, am I highlighting it? Because it is sold with a manual...
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Mazda Millenia S: Used Car Reminder

Mazda Millenia S: Used Car Reminder
In the world of four-door sedans, there are normal ones – like that Altima they made from 2008ish until 2012; the one with those turn wraparound turn signals the size of a fire hydrant – and there are beautiful ones. I am thinking now of the 1995-2001 BMW 7-Series. You know: before the days of Chris Bangle. But there’s another beautiful sedan that I think way too many of us forget about: the Mazda Millenia S. I’m not referring to the first-generation model, which a lot of people wrongly believe is beautiful, but rather the second-gen Millenia, which is actually beautiful. It included...
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Porsche 928 GTS: Used Car Reminder

Porsche 928 GTS: Used Car Reminder
If you’re like me, you think of a Porsche as a manufacturer of a) luxury cars, and b) that’s actually it. But there was a time when they built sports cars, and one of the most amazing of those was the 928 GTS. For a little background, let’s discuss the 928. This was a front-engine, V8-powered sports car that was initially intended to replace the 911 before everyone realized it was rather ungainly. So rather than replace the 911, Porsche decided to keep the 911 going, largely unchanged, and keep the 928 going, largely unchanged, for as long as possible. The result was that by the late 1980s,...
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It Exists: The Woody Toyota Land Cruiser

It Exists: The Woody Toyota Land Cruiser
Here’s one I’m not sure about myself. Back in the 1980s, Jeep threw wood paneling on the side of the Grand Wagoneer SUV. This was all well and good, and people bought them in large numbers, primarily so they could keep a car at their second home in Martha’s Vineyard. During that time, Toyota also offered wood paneling on the Land Cruiser. I’ve done a few Google searches and I can’t seem to find anything that really explains it. Was it a factory option? Was it actually wood? Was it dealer installed? And whose idea was it? After all, it seems like a blatant copy of the Grand...
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Mercedes C36 AMG and C43 AMG: Used Car Reminder

Mercedes C36 AMG and C43 AMG: Used Car Reminder
If we’re talking souped-up, 1990s German cars, the E36 M3 gets all the glory. Or, more accurately, it shares the glory with the E34 M5, and the E39 M5, and various other BMWs that were all wonderful, but aren’t necessarily unique. Enter the C36 and C43 AMG. These were the first AMG cars (as we know them now) that ever came to the US: they carried a two-digit number rather than the three digits of other Mercedes models, and they used subtle modifications to display that they were, in fact, faster than normal. The C36 came first. It used a 276-horsepower 3.6-liter straight six, which meant it...
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Everyone Hates High-Performance Luxury SUVs

Everyone Hates High-Performance Luxury SUVs
Today’s topic is: things we hate. This should be an easy one because we, as Internet users, are constantly going on and on about how much we hate various things. I know this because I frequently receive e-mails from people who hate me, and based on the quality of writing, it appears these people also hate punctuation. Of course, we could spend all day listing things we hate. Dusting. Road construction. Nearly all insects. Or here’s a good one: when the self-checkout machines at the grocery store are closed. How is this possible? This is a machine we’re talking about! Is it taking a...
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Toyota Celica All-Trac: It Exists

Toyota Celica All-Trac: It Exists
I was recently stunned to discover that some people don’t think Toyota is very cool. Just kidding. We all know Toyota isn’t very cool, which is probably the reason they sell a lot of cars. Most people don’t want to be cool, especially because “cool” is really a car business term for “will spend more time in the shop than on the road.” My Range Rover, for instance, is very cool. But Toyota has its flashes of actual, legitimate cool. And one of those flashes is the Celica All-Trac. Most people don’t know this car was sold in the States, but it very much was. I believe they offered...
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We Made It: Recapping 6,300 Miles and 17 States in a CTS-V Wagon

We Made It: Recapping 6,300 Miles and 17 States in a CTS-V Wagon
I’m writing today from my desk. In my home. With my lamps, and my couch, and my fuzzy purple blankets, which sound really tacky but go surprisingly well with the room. This is a big deal. Really, it is. It’s a major departure from my last few submissions, which were all written the same way: hoisting my laptop above my head in a hotel room closet so I could reach the eleven square inches covered by the wireless Internet. In other words: I’ve made it through the roadtrip alive. “What roadtrip?” you ask, pretending that you did not see – and ignore – my last few posts about how I drove...
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V Wagon Roadtrip: The Bonneville Salt Flats Are Awesome

V Wagon Roadtrip: The Bonneville Salt Flats Are Awesome
What do you know about the Bonneville Salt Flats? If you’re like me, you probably think it’s an empty, salty place where crazy people drive rocket-powered vehicles at speeds normally reserved for passenger jets. Or maybe you know of it from that Anthony Hopkins movie. You know the one: he travels all the way from New Zealand with his rickety old motorcycle only to discover they don’t have his paperwork, and he’s only allowed to race in a rented Ford Escape. Well, I’ve recently learned something else about the Bonneville Salt Flats: they’re a lot of fun. Before we get to that, a little...
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V Wagon Roadtrip: After 3500 Miles, How’s It Holding Up?

V Wagon Roadtrip: After 3500 Miles, How’s It Holding Up?
We put roadtrip mile number 3,500 on the V Wagon in Yosemite National Park today. Three thousand five hundred miles. In ten days. Maybe this number seems reasonable to you. Maybe it doesn’t sound so bad. Maybe it sounds like child’s play. If that’s the case, maybe you’re a long-haul trucker, or possibly an astronaut. It’s an enormous figure to me, largely because my usual commute spans the distance from my bedroom to my living room. (This joke is told every single time a group of auto journalists assembles in one place, even though no one has laughed at it since roughly 1973.) As...
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